fix(broker,cli): member-DM policy counts real sessions; a rejection is final

Found in the local E2E drill:
- the broker counted connections, not sessions — a reattaching session
  briefly holds two sockets, and it logged live_sessions=3 for a member
  with 2. Count distinct session keys, excluding control-plane.
- in reject mode the daemon retried member_target_requires_session like
  a transient error; it is now classified permanent (row → dead after
  one attempt, both daemon and session sockets).

Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 5.5 <noreply@anthropic.com>

apps/broker/src/index.ts

@@ -2509,13 +2509,20 @@ async function handleSend(
     // so on the wire this only comes from older clients. Policy:
     // CLAUDEMESH_MEMBER_DM_POLICY=warn (default: log + count) | reject.
     {
-      const liveSessionsOfTarget = [...connections.values()].filter(
-        (peer) =>
-          peer.meshId === conn.meshId &&
-          peer.memberPubkey === msg.targetSpec &&
-          !!peer.sessionPubkey &&
-          peer.sessionPubkey !== msg.targetSpec,
-      ).length;
+      // Distinct session keys — a reattaching session can briefly hold
+      // two sockets, and the daemon's control-plane socket isn't a session.
+      const liveSessionsOfTarget = new Set(
+        [...connections.values()]
+          .filter(
+            (peer) =>
+              peer.meshId === conn.meshId &&
+              peer.memberPubkey === msg.targetSpec &&
+              peer.peerRole !== "control-plane" &&
+              !!peer.sessionPubkey &&
+              peer.sessionPubkey !== msg.targetSpec,
+          )
+          .map((peer) => peer.sessionPubkey),
+      ).size;
       if (liveSessionsOfTarget > 0) {
         const policy = process.env.CLAUDEMESH_MEMBER_DM_POLICY === "reject" ? "reject" : "warn";
         log.warn("member_target_dm", {

apps/cli/src/daemon/broker.ts

@@ -524,5 +524,5 @@ function defaultLog(level: "info" | "warn" | "error", msg: string, meta?: Record
 
 /** Heuristic: which broker errors are unrecoverable for this id. */
 function classifyPermanent(err: string): boolean {
-  return /payload_too_large|forbidden|not_found|invalid|schema|auth|signature/i.test(err);
+  return /payload_too_large|forbidden|not_found|invalid|schema|auth|signature|member_target_requires_session/i.test(err);
 }

apps/cli/src/daemon/session-broker.ts

@@ -63,7 +63,7 @@ const SEND_ACK_TIMEOUT_MS = 15_000;
  *  daemon-WS classifier so behavior is identical regardless of which
  *  socket the row went out on. */
 function classifyPermanent(error: string): boolean {
-  return /unknown|invalid|forbidden|not_authorized|target_not_found/i.test(error);
+  return /unknown|invalid|forbidden|not_authorized|target_not_found|member_target_requires_session/i.test(error);
 }
 
 export interface ParentAttestation {